The Addams Family Gomez Funny You Should Ask

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Quotes

• Morticia : Midweek'due south at that very special age when a daughter has just one matter on her heed.

  Ellen : Boys?

  Wednesday : Homicide.

• Morticia : [against Debbie in her house] You have gone too far. You have married Fester, you have destroyed his spirit, you have taken him from us. All that I could forgive. But, Debbie...

  Debbie Jellinsky : What?

  Morticia : ...pastels?

• Debbie Jellinsky : I don't wanna hurt everyone. I don't enjoy hurting anybody. I don't like guns, or bombs, or electric chairs. But sometimes people just won't listen. And and then, I have to utilize persuasion. And slides.

  [Showing slide pictures]

  Debbie Jellinsky : My parents, Sharon and Dave. Generous, doting, or *were they*? All I ever wanted was a Ballerina Barbie. In her pretty pink tutu. My birthday.

  [the slide shows her as a child, grin and opening a gift]

  Debbie Jellinsky : I was 10, and do y'all know what they got me? *Malibu* Barbie.

  Morticia : Malibu Barbie.

  Gomez : The nightmare.

  Morticia : The nerve.

  Debbie Jellinsky : [flicks to the next slide of her throwing a bared-teeth atmosphere tantrum] That'due south not what I wanted! That'due south non who I was. I was a *ballerina*, graceful, delicate! They had to go.

  [the side by side slide shot shows a called-for firm]

• Gomez : [shouting] I need justice! Someone has married my brother!

  Desk sergeant : [sarcastically] No!

  Gomez : She took him to Hawaii!

  Desk sergeant : [cynically] Get outta here!

  Gomez : They have moved into a large, expensive dwelling house, where they make love *constantly*!

  Desk sergeant : I hate when that happens.

  Gomez : Arrest her at once, without delay!

  Desk sergeant : Who?

  Gomez : Debbie. My brother'south wife, the temptress of Waikiki!

  Desk sergeant : Who are you? What are you? Who moved the rock?

  Gomez : Officeholder, you lot must upshot a amendment. I believe they own...

  Morticia : Gomez, NO!

  Gomez : [shouting] A Buick!

• Desk sergeant : [after being asked to arrest Debbie] Just leave, leave quietly, get out now. Don't make me telephone call Ringling Brothers.

  Gomez : [shouting] Has the planet gone mad? My brother, passion's hostage. I seek justice - denied! I shall non submit! I shall conquer! I shall rise! My proper name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil!

  [Grandmama waves Pubert in the air]

  Gomez : I take seen horror!

  [Lurch waves]

  Gomez : I accept seen the unholy maggots which banquet in the dark recesses of the human soul!

  Morticia : They're at camp.

  Gomez : I have seen all this, officer. Just until today, I had never seen... *you*!

  Desk-bound sergeant : Hook him, book him, cook him. *Now*!

• Morticia : [to Gomez] I'm just similar any modern woman trying to accept it all. Loving husband, a family unit. It'south just, I wish I had more fourth dimension to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.

• [near Pubert]

  Gomez : He has my father's eyes.

  Morticia : Gomez, take those out of his mouth.

• Morticia : [to Debbie] You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some foreign sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may nosotros see him?

• Midweek : Death! Death to the enemies of the people of the Democracy.

  [Pugsley releases the guillotine and chops a watermelon in half]

  Wednesday : Hurrah! Justice is served. Bring forward the evil one.

  [Pugsley brings over Pubert, who is in a white dress and bonnet]

  Midweek : [to Pubert] You have betrayed the people of France. You are evil incarnate. How do you lot plead?

  Pugsley : [holds upwardly Pubert, speaks in "baby voice"] Guilty!

  Wednesday : Guilty! By her ain admission! The sentence is death. Executioner, identify her on the cake.

  [Pugsley lays Pubert down in the guillotine]

  Wednesday : 1... 2...

  Morticia : [from downstairs] Children, what are y'all doing?

  Wednesday , Pugsley : Playing!

  Wednesday : ...3!

  [She releases the guillotine. Pubert catches the bract in his fingers]

  Midweek : Woe to the Republic.

• Morticia : My babe is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh, Mama, what shall I do?

  Grandma : Well, y'all take a blackness clothes.

• [Morticia is reading "The Cat in the Lid" to Pubert, who has golden curls and rosy cheeks]

  Morticia : Are you enjoying this?

  [sadly]

  Morticia : To think, a kid of mine!

  [turns the folio]

  Morticia : "I know it is wet, and the sun is not sunny. But we can take lots of skillful fun... that is funny."

  [flipping to the last folio]

  Morticia : Oh, no. He lives.

• Morticia : Children, this is Miss Jellinsky, our new nanny. What exercise we say?

  Wednesday : Exist afraid. Be very agape.

• Morticia : Children, do you call up we honey the baby more than we love you?

  Wednesday , Pugsley : Yes.

  Morticia : Practise you lot call up that when a new baby arrives, one of the other children has to die?

  Midweek , Pugsley : Yes.

  Grandma : Well, that's just non truthful.

  [sighs wistfully]

  Grandma : Non anymore.

• Gomez : [visibly disgusted] Fresh air. The scent of pino.

  [easily Pugsley a cigar]

  Morticia : Midweek, look at all of the other children, their freckles, their bright piffling optics, their eager, friendly smiles. Help them.

• Grandma : Unless Fester comes back, nosotros're talking *dimples*.

  Gomez : Not in this business firm!

  Grandma : He could stay this way for years! Forever! He could become... a lawyer.

  Gomez : I won't mind!

  Grandma : An orthodontist!

  Morticia : Mama! Stop!

  Grandma : President!

  Gomez : [looking up above] Please! I beg you! Accept me!

  [sobs openly]

• Debbie Jellinsky : These Addams men, where do y'all find them?

  Morticia : It has to be clammy.

• Delivery Room Doctor : [to Morticia] Button, Mrs. Addams.

  [to the Nurse]

  Commitment Room Physician : Forceps?

  Forceps Nurse : Forceps.

  [giving the Doctor forceps]

  Forceps Nurse : Forceps.

  Delivery Room Doctor : Would yous like anesthesia?

  Morticia : No, cheers. Just do ask the children.

• Morticia : [to Debbie] All the important numbers: constabulary, burn department, morgue.

• Uncle Fester : Gomez! Morticia! Great news! Something impossible... a miracle!

  Gomez : The rash?

  Morticia : It's gone?

  Uncle Fester : I'yard engaged!

  [Debbie shows them the ring]

  Morticia : That ring!

  Gomez : It was our mother's. She was buried with it.

  [Debbie holds upward a shovel]

• [at Debbie'south house]

  Morticia : Where are we?

  Grandma : It looks familiar... Of course! The gates of hell.

• Delivery Room Md : Nurse, how shut are the contractions?

  Delivery Nurse : Every 15 seconds, md.

  Gomez : Are you in unbearable pain? Is it inhuman? My darling, is information technology torture?

  Morticia : Oui.

• Debbie Jellinsky : I just can't tell, does he like me at all?

  Morticia : Of course he does. He vomited.

  Debbie Jellinsky : That'southward true. Does he ever do that with women he likes?

  Morticia : Oh no. Merely you.

• Gomez : At his asking, I would rip out my optics. At his command, I would clamber on my belly through hot dress-down and broken drinking glass.

  Morticia : Why wait?

• Morticia : Skillful night, Debbie.

  Debbie Jellinsky : Good night.

  Morticia : Scream if you lot need anything.

• Morticia : [to Gomez] One business firm, three children, so many windows.

• Morticia : [Thing hops on Debbie'south shoulder] Matter, finish that.

  Gomez : He likes you.

  Debbie Jellinsky : [Debbie sucks on Matter'south alphabetize finger; he shudders and falls off] I'one thousand skilful with my hands.

• Debbie Jellinsky : Hi, I'grand Debbie Jellinsky from the agency.

  Morticia : The agency? But they claimed no one else was available. They suggested a Doberman.

• Morticia : [in a philosophical sighing tone] Our whole family... together at concluding... three generations... in a higher place ground.

  Debbie Jellinsky : [shouting from offstage, and then of a sudden actualization on the scene property a ridiculous-looking fat-bodied onetime-fashioned sawed-off shotgun, which she pumps dramatically to chamber a crush] IN-LAWS!

  [Shluck-shlick!]

• Gomez : Cara mia.

  Morticia : Mon cher.

• Grandma : [in Pubert's now lighthearted nursery] Stay back! He's very sick!

  Morticia : [Morticia and Gomez look over into his cradle to see a blond, rosy-cheeked, smile baby] My baby!

  [Gomez faints]

• Morticia : Gomez.

  Gomez : Cara mia?

  Morticia : Marvelous news. I'thousand going to have a baby. Right now.

• Morticia : [walking into Pubert's nursery] Oh, Gomez. Information technology's dark, it's depressing, information technology'due south desolate.

  Gomez : It says "toddler".

  Morticia : It's a dream.

  Gomez : Come, cara mia.

• Morticia : [to Gomez, later on Pubert shoots a flaming pointer into the ceiling] Did you come across that?

• Morticia : [handing Pubert to Debbie] You've had your shots? Measles, mumps, rabies?

• Gomez : [opens the window to enjoy the night air, and catches Pubert equally he falls from the roof] Cara mia!

  Morticia : Oh dear.

• Morticia : Adieu, monday cher.

  Gomez : Adios, cara mia.

• Morticia : So... you nevertheless desire me later on all these years? The old ball and concatenation?

  Gomez : Forever!

  Morticia : I'll go them!

• Morticia , Gomez : [to each other] Summer army camp?

• Morticia : We want to see Debbie and Fester.

  Concetta : [turns around and shouts] Miss DEBBIE!

  Debbie Jellinsky : Debra!

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0106220/characters/nm0001378

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